22 Days

3 weeks, 2/3 of a month, it's something you'd hear at an AA meeting, "I have 22 days today." For me it represents the number of continuous days of sleep deprivation that I've been enduring.

October, in Ajijic, is the celebration of the Virgin of the Rosary. She represents one of the (many) manifestations of the Virgin Mary. EVERY morning at 5:00am the village is startled awake to the resplendent sounds of bottle rocks exploding into the dark, QUIET, dawn. Everyone is invited (including apparently the dead) to come say the rosary at the Church.

I am aware of this event coming at the same time every year, but you just don't realize how bad it's going to be until you experience it yet again in the wee hours of October 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th and so on, and so on, and so on.....

I am pretty sure I'm loosing my mind right about now.

AND what did I through into this mix this month, nothing less than having my hyper-active, ADD, sometimes demonically possessed dog, Magda spayed yesterday. She's not allowed to jump or climb stairs. Did I mention we live in a 2 story house. She wants to be held, she wants to be by my side, she wants me. Rey who, while I am writing this, is looking up at me from the floor with that "Mommy I love you and want to sit with you" look and touching my leg softly with his cold nose. Wow, some would think, "oh that's so sweet", but no, not me! I want to run far, far away and be all alone with no one or nothing wanting or expecting anything of me. Oh yeah, then there's the guilt you feel for not wanting to be there for them!

Oh and lest I forget, I also scheduled today to have the two tinacos (water tanks) on the roof cleaned and repaired. Antonio and his son are here and have to go up and down the stairs that Magda's not allowed to climb or descend. The bottom on the stair case is now barricaded with chairs, plaster urns, etc. to prevent her from climbing and thus prevents them from descending.

There is a reason God decided that I should not be a mother. I'm a great Aunt, friend, wife, sister, daughter, but not a mother. That job is not for the weak or faint of heart. My step-daughter Lauren just became a mother and my respect for her has increased exponentially. She is truly called to the position! KUDOS Lauren.

Being needed and being sleep deprived are not two things that compliment each other, for me. I don't have an ounce of anything to offer today. I'm spent. And there are 9 more days of this...

P.S. Even though the weather at this time of the year is some of the best, don't plan to visit us unless you're an early bird!