My Brother Don

I just got back from Fort Worth a few days ago after returning to Texas for my older brother's funeral. WOW, not what I thought I'd be doing a few weeks after Christmas.

It was very sudden and unexpected. He was driving home from picking up take-out Chinese food when he had a massive heart attack and died instantly, and after hitting 7 cars and running up a very steep embankment from Bryant Irvin Rd to SH 183 and jumping the guard rail, his car stopped on SH 183 heading east. No one, thank God, was hurt in the accident that followed his heart attack.

I went back to Texas immediately and got to spend some great time with my family and meet some of his friends and co-workers. It's not the way I'd have preferred we got together, but it was wonderful to see, hug, laugh, cry, and reminisce with everyone. My how the family has expanded over the years.

There's so much to say...The funeral was very subdued and emotional. I hadn't really had much of an emotional reaction to his death prior. But when Jim, Mary, Susie, and Ann got up for Jim to read what they had all written about their dad I fell apart. I realized then, Don was really more like a dad to me too, in so many ways, then a brother, especially after our Dad and Mom both died in 1974 and 1975 respectively.

Don was 20 years old when I was born. He and Pattie Ann were married in 1953 and started having their own family. Mary and I are only 13 months apart. Mary, Susie, Jim, and Ann are more like my siblings then nieces and nephew. But they still introduce me as "Aunt Donna" which always get a funny response!

Don was a pilot in the US Air Force and retired as a Colonel. He majored in dairy husbandry at the University of Maryland thinking he was going to come back to the farm and be a dairyman. Our family had a large dairy farm in Howard County Maryland, very close to the Howard County Fair Grounds.

While in the Air Force they lived in Carlisle, PA; Austin and Lubbock, TX; Hampton, VA; Montgomery, AL and Japan. He did 2 tours of duty in Viet Nam and I found out a couple of days before the funeral that he was awarded The Bronze Star. NO ONE KNEW ABOUT THIS. HE HADN'T EVEN TOLD HIS WIFE. That's my brother Don. He was the Dean of the Army War College in Pennsylvania. He wrote one of the first books on the lessons of Viet Nam. After he retired from his military career, he moved to Fort Worth, Texas and started an investment company for military personnel and worked there for 20+ years. THEN he decided it was time to really retire, and get serious about his golf game. His favorite place on earth was Hawaii.

He is buried at the Dallas-Fort Worth National Cemetery. Not exactly Maui, but it is a very beautiful place with rolling hills and lakes and fountains and birds!

My brother was a serious, introspective man when I was a young girl growing up. I never really knew him. In fact, I could probably say he scared me a bit. I was more comfortable with my sister-in-law Pattie Ann and she was the one who hugged me and made me feel a part of their family after our Mom died. As I got older Don and I became better friends. I wasn't so needy and he didn't feel so much responsibility for me and my brother Mike who was younger then he too. The last time I saw Don was 2 years ago at my niece Carolyn's wedding in Dallas. The four of us, Don, Joy, Mike and me have had several occasions over the years to all be together as adults and I am grateful for those events.

I remember he had an awesome, distinctive laugh and he could tell you something funny and make himself crack up laughing to the point he'd cry. He was happy and content in his life. I believe he died with no regrets or unfinished business. For that I truly grateful. He was a much loved and respected man. He will be sorely missed by Pattie, his children and their families, his brother and sisters, and friends.

Good-bye my brother/dad! I love you and will miss you too.